Saturday, November 19, 2011

Someone like you

"Sometimes it last in love, sometimes it hurts inside."

I think the most ironic thing about love is the idea of being in love itself. Butterflies in the stomach, weak knees, smiling to yourself without reasons, well,surely you get what I mean. Of course those who had experienced this will probably said relationship are more than a cliche' picture of a classic love, the fights, the broken promises, the uncertainties future, the never ending questions and the list goes on.

But for those who had not experienced love or being in a relationship, and know things through novels and movies, perhaps this including me, for some kind reasons =P, they have slightly different say. We know the idea of love is not all sweet but, we know it is more than that.

Of course some will say it is better to stay out of love if you are not ready for it. But since we are really well prepared for anything in life? Things come knocking at our doors at most undefined time in life. Some will say stay out of love and your heart is safe. Well, I would say that love is something you can't run away from because when you love, you just do. You may hide, but the feeling don't simply disappear, at least not easily. But yes, I do believe hearts move on as time passed by, the memories may stay, but then you will realize the memories are the reasons that you have to learned, from love, from life.

"Life is too ironic to understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence." - Tumblr


Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Little More

You hold a string of hope. You tie yourself to the sweet memories. You know how things will end, but know better that you should keep doing what you are doing. Hoping and having that slightest faith that is inches from slipping away, and appreciating how the sweet memories make you smile.

You thought of doing things differently. Perhaps forgetting everything and refreshing the boring routine of your ways thinking and taking life in. But this kind of different just did not work, yet, at least for you, you told yourself that. So went back to the same old road, just thankful. No complains. No regrets.

Because complaining means you are not grateful and regretting means you are not learning.

"Kalau kita berubah untuk menjadi baik kerana ALLAH SWT, ALLAH akan menghantar orang yang baik-baik untuk bersama kita"

Till then,

Monday, November 14, 2011

Love on paper

Haven't been drawing for a long time, but was reminded when little, if I had nothing better to do, all I need was pencil and paper to keep me entertained. Well, actually, that's a flip on a pages of my diary. The L.O.V.E ISSUES, my favorite.

In addition, I've done some thinking and looking back on my life. After a few rapid internal issue of myself, now, I'm trying to focus on something really new in my life. I will be back to UITM soon. But, instead of coping with my study, I think I haven't done things that I really enjoy doing things that slightly different from my normal things. I wanna do things out of my reach, and actually really have fun while I'm at it.


1// Spend more time with my family and friends.

2// Devoting myself to ALLAH SWT, be a better muslimah, and recite the ALQURAN as much as I can.

3// Catch on my reading habits. Increase my vocab especially in English. More book-hunting . . yey!!

4// Try on rollerblading, cycling, jogging, and everything -ing -ing -ing. =P

5// Be engrossed with my studies. NAK DEAN LIST!!

6// Saving for traveling . . go places, explore new thing.

7// Beli camera . . maybe POLAROID??

8// Belajar menjahit . . A COTTON CASE!!

9// Continue on my art stuff . . tote bag. journals . . and . .

10// Learn new languages . . Japanese, French, . . .

11// Learn picture editing . . Install photoshop . .

12// Cook new thing . . baking!!!

13// Pegi gym?? Get fit vs KURUS!!

14// Reconstructing my wardrobe.. I need new styles . hehe

15// what more?????

Till then,

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Desire to Inspire


Before I've move further for today's entry, this entry doesn't followed with any pictures ok? Well, the blogging is not actually or really about uploading pictures.

Yup, the date is 11.11.11.

What a nice date, and its Friday.

Well, actually I don't even know what to write. Yes, it seems that I've lost my inspiration. I do admit that even I don't want so. Its been a "rapid" week I guess *deep inside mine*. I don't know why I felt I've lost someone that is so motivated and inspirational to me. I don't know why I can't proceed with my 123445788968686086808 things to do on my-to-do list. And again I don't know why. Even I know perhaps this is what I choose. But am I right?

I can't continue that. I'm sorry.

Well, I don't want to ruin this special 11.11.11' post.

I'm sure today is such a special memorable date for each one of us. Perhaps there are some of us choose to get into a relationship or get engage or get married or get divorce *sorry to say* or get into a small break or maybe get into what ever you plan to be with, but what ever it is, DO IT NOT JUST FOR YOURSELF OR FAMILY OR FRIENDS BUT, DO IT FOR ALLAH SWT.


So, that's about it, I guess. Short and simple. To all of you *including me* who wish for unforgettable 11.11.11 this year, insyaallah, I pray so that what ever your heart wishes, it will be granted, may ALLAH SWT bless all of us, amin ya rabbal alamin.



Saturday, October 29, 2011

I Loves LOVE

Me and my cousin'zz *RAYA AJI 2011 oiii*

Happy November, darlings!

Well its hard for me to update my blog as there are some technical problems in order for me to uploading my photo. That situation really affected my mood to blog-ing. But then, I realized and remember the first and main reasons why I start blogging as it will not actually all about photos uploading or anything else, as it should be about me and myself. I should really made this blog as my second diary, which it could be a place where I can express almost anything under the sky.

Here something really from my heart.

There's a saying that goes, " If you love someone, let that person go ."

My feeling about this quote and how it relates to love in my life has always shifted back and forth. If you love someone, why would you ever let that person go? I mean that person is everything you want, everything you love. That person is the only person that you'd ever want to be with, so why let that person go.

Happiness. Perhaps, you let that person go for his happiness. If you really love someone, you will always want that person to be happy. And if being happy means being away for a while, then sometimes yes, you have to let that person go. Even he means everything for you, if it makes him happy to be free, then let him go. There's nothing sadder than than to see the person you truly love unhappy.

What happen to the person who lets go? Of course, she'll experience the pain of letting go of her love, especially after reflecting all the precious time spent with that person. Her heart will continue to yearn for that person, even when its over. No one will say it was easy, but in time, the pain subsides and she'll move on, right?

Hopefully .

Separation are never easy, especially when the love was so good, especially there's still attachment. When people still feel for each other that way, of course neither of them wants the friendship to end. It's the heart that talking, not the mind. Often times the feeling of not wanting the break up comes from the heart, but when you really think hard about it, you choose what's best.

Just because it's the best decision, it doesn't mean the person who proposed it wanted it. Why would she want the end of a good thing? It was never a want. It was a need. It was the end to be real and to be true to be logical.

But then again, does logic really define love?

To be honest, after two people enjoys each others' company go through with it, there are often times still unsure f it was a right decision. Sometimes they feel that this is just another one of those times they say things they don't mean and that maybe tomorrow will be a new day and everything will be okay. Until now, lovers may not be sure if what they did was right. I feel that lovers will one day end up in each others' love again . . Only if they're really meant for each other. Allah knows best.

I'm sure they'll be fine. It's just a hole in the heart that they have to mend and fill with something or someone else. They'll be fine, right? It's not like this is easier for one person than it is for other. Little do they know, they're walking towards recovery together, just on different routes.

Do I sound like I'm heartbroken? Hmmm, not sure myself. Plus I don't even know why I choose to talk on this. To be honest, yes or still maybe I am looking forward or again maybe just some sort of my little feeling that wanna end up on something or someone. I don't know or to be exactly, I don't want to think it now, at the moment, for the mean time. This is quite complicated for me. I am struggling and fighting for what we called . . anjakan paradigma *in the good way of course*.

Well, for the mean time, lets just forget about this, coz I'm tired and sleepy. This Raya Haji really fever up myself due to such a busy and fun lovely majlis doa selamat that was held at my house today and all I need is a good sleep, darl!

me ♥


Friday, October 28, 2011

A tad bit of it

When people say life is an ongoing learning process where opportunities and chances roll into our lives in every single day and mistakes are bound to be made, and to be learn from, I can't help but wonder how much chances I have missed and how many mistakes I have failed to learned from, in fact perhaps I have repeated them.

When people say beauty is a very subjective matter to be discussed, that every woman is beautiful and it only takes the right man to see that beauty, I can't help but to ponder who has really ever see me as beautiful.

When people around me are not feeling at their own best, or in another word, sad, I try to give the best positive advices I could come up with, but it puzzles me how hard for me to take my own advices when I am the one who is feeling down.

When I tell myself, think of things that make you happy whenever I am sad, I question myself back, what if the same thing that makes me happy, makes me sad?


I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beauty me. Btw, say hello to my atok *raya 2011*

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Quick Update 2# Mission : Books and Balloons Hunting

Dila kata this book best *The perks of being a wallflower*

My stack of collection of note books *wink wink*

balloons? =,='

"I just want to read beautiful things, stare at beautiful things, make beautiful things and be beautiful besides you,Z"



React and be inspired to act .

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Little Love and Roughness

This is what I wear. *jubah*

The simple, pink, purp, and white pelamin *auuww*

The cake tower

Here come the bride *black/grey outfits*

The entrace *this is what I want*


Muzium *haa?*

Muke mintak penampo *haha*

same tak serupe *hikhik* //since when gelak gedik ni?

Little love this week. And again there are still some roughness. Or in normal way to say that is argue-ing here and there. That is the reality in life. We can't always expecting the nice *always* things in our life, as there might be some roughness around all our life' edges.

" Life is rough around the edges like..CRAYON "

Today I won't talk on the roughness that happen in my life' edges.

Well, despite all the roughness there are still little love, as I managed to coped myself with a little getaway.

One word.


Yup, its Taiping The Bandar Warisan.

Please don't ask me how many times I've already when there. When talk about Taiping, somehow my heart feel so near to that rainy town *wink wink*. And again, please don't ask me why. I feel like I want to explore and went to every edges of that town. Even to some of us, there is nothing great there. But I do think its such an interesting and special place to go.

Well, enough of the over the top saying about Taiping. Coz that's not my main reason why I write today.

Back to the original point.

Actually, yesterday me and my family going to Taiping to attended a wedding of Auntie Nor's nephew. We left home around 11 a.m. and straight away drove to the wedding place at Kompleks Rakan Muda, Bukit Jana, Taiping. We arrive there around 1 p.m. When I arrive at the wed hall, I was mesmerize with the wed deco as the wed theme was pink, purple and white!! So nice and lovely wed. I captured some photos during the wed.

After the wed, we feel like not ready to went back home, thus my dad took us to the Perak Muzium. Yeah, I know its sounds lame when we talk about muzium, but hey, somehow I do feel that its a nice place to date with your beloved ones or even to bring your kids *I dreamed on bringing my twins to that muzium with my hubby!!* ","'

To make it short and simple, just let the picture do the talking.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I don't even butter my bread, coz I consider it cooking

well, i only butter ma bread with choc dude


I have confession.

"I don't know how to cook, but I love eating so much."

Do you have problem with that, boy?

Today's blog tittle really reflect how lazy I am. I'm sorry and I really owed an apologies and also I deserve the BAD BLOGGER AWARD yo.

It feel like ages I haven't been writing on here. It always the matter of not having the golden time and also not knowing what to write even there so much rhapsody and also anecdote that been bothering to get out of my mind. But definitely the urge of writing is there. It's the same feeling when you are hungry but you don't feel like eating, if you get what I'm saying la.

But here I am today typing these out because I remember the reason why I started blogging at the first place. Which is to create some sort of keepsake or a journal of my life. The same reason why I draw or make my art. It's fascinating how the technology today could help in keeping the memories tied close to us, well to me at last. So this post will be just another update of my life, which is now somewhere between the feeling of not knowing what to do and coped with my daily life.

The past few days, or maybe I should say weeks (maybe) I am struggling to coped with my eternal feeling as perhaps in the past I am a person that not easily struggle with that kind of fight. Yes. I am fighting with my own feeling. The feeling that maybe me and myself are also still confusing at. I know it is normal to a teen like me,thus in order for me to grown up to be a better mature adult someday. But I do admit that this fight is really making me tired, exhausted to be exactly, headache and somehow I can't stop doing the last thing that I want to do which is crying. I know this is just another turning point for me to become a better girl. Well, but then I think it will be not appropriate for me to express the thing that been bothering me as it is due to several eternal issues. Don't worry I am know trying to handle my life into the right way.

At the moment, I have like 12687675787985258354895418451895878628 things on my To-Do List, or at least that is how it feel like. So many things.

Well, you know how when you grow up you get to know yourself better? But that's not always the case, right? At least not all the time for me. I mean, there times when you feel like the more you know, the less you understand. Here's a question, what do you normally do when you feel that?

While you're pondering around with question of mine, well if you are, excuse myself as I need to out from here for a while, but don't worry coz I'll be back with some fresh issues of mine.

Nota bawah meja:

" Once in a while, our eyes need to be washed by our tears so that we can see life with a clearer view "

Dear boy, thanks for the late night tears.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Ramadhan ya Ramadhan

To me, Ramadhan is the perfect month for us, Muslims, to reflect on ourselves, to how we've been and to whom we wanna become. Allah s.w.t has been undoubtedly generous to provide us a 'magical' month to which is such a blessing to us all. Ramadhan is like having a 'Smart Tag' your way to be closer to our dearest Creator.

From Anas, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Allah the Almighty has said: 'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon.''

For the past 28 days of sheer enjoyment of fasting, I too, have been thinking, and reflecting myself in so many ways. How I perform my solah, how I cover my aurah, how I take my ablution, and how frequent do I thank Allah for everything He has bestowed upon me. I do regret that my pace of improving is quite slow than I imagined it to be. I don't blame anyone but me though.

Whatever it is, I just am grateful to be given the opportunity to live and breathe to this day as a Muslim. Wearing a hijab and protect me from doing sinful things. To be blessed in this pink of health. And so many other uncountable things that I've been blessed with.

Talking about the 'aurah' and the image of a muslim girl. I do admit that somehow I don't really reflect the image as a muslim girl. There is a story behind all this saying. I know that sometimes when dressed myself, I don't really care if my outfits doesn't seem to be appropriate *sometimes* to be seen by others. One day, as I'm wearing white long blue sleeve with a black skirts, I didn't noticed that outfits is quite "seeing-able" by others. To make things up, there's a guy that noticed and adviced me to change my outfits *that guy didn't approached me face to face but he pass it to my friend* From that moment, I've started to think back on how I represent myself as a muslimah. I know that somehow I have to change myself to be a better muslimah with a good attitude and also a good image wear of a muslim girl.

Eidul Fitri is just around the corner. I do hope after this I will growing into a better muslim lady and may Allah swt bless my family, my study and myself. Hope this raya marks the end of eventful year and hope the next will just as (if not more) amazing as the last. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

We could have it all

I like to remind myself how lucky I was to had time with him at all.

Me : You had my heart in your hand for now,and you played it to the beat *smile*
You: ....

It is really uncertainties that are driving me crazy,isn't it?I don't know what and why.There's too many question that I can't seem to stop them from keep coming into my head and the answers seem like there are not to be found. It is astounding how fate seems to play its role at its best when we least expect it.It is puzzling how some people are meant to meet and fall in love but are not meant to be together.The doubts that I have in myself are doing a pretty good job in further dragging myself mind-thinking imaginary world of mine that is fulled if life questing mostly the what-if questions.

It is also funny how you keep hoping on something despite knowing how hopeless it is.And then you keep telling yourself that thing happen for reasons,yep cliche enough at its best.And then while hoping for the time to help to sort things out for your,that feeling you thought you had forgotten just have to come back,sometimes stronger than before.But its not because of you are not over things yet,it simply because you miss how you felt back then.

Ok.DONE.Perhaps it is so wondering what is the reason for that entry above.Well actually me neither also kept asking myself *hahaha* Tak la.It is because I think that maybe I need some reversing techniques *haaa?whats that??* nop,perhaps its just a way to help me out to keep myself calm and keep living my life properly.And just to share with the world that tonight I've watched a sweet love movie by Khabir Bhatia entitled Keabadian Cinta.It is such a sweet movie about the lovelholic of three different couples.I love the way Khabir captured the love stories of them in his own simple way and make us think love in the deeper way.

p/s:Currently on Adele//Rolling in the Deep *nice*

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thanks JK Rowling

So,here we go.YUP.We'r heading for a meeting with Mr.Potter and the gang.We'r watching the final part of Harry Potter sequels.Thus,we,namely ibu,kuya the amoi,me,and iwan pemandu kami headed to JUSCO and struggled for the 2 pm movie.Well,to be honest I'm not totally a big huge hardcore fan of Harry as if you do ask me anything under the sky about Harry Potter thingy,surely I cant scored myself by that.Even the book also I cant fit myself to read all 7th books of the JK'S.Even it really obviously showed that Im sort of like I didnt care whether I watch Harry or not but the thing is I do care and I wanna watch Harry and the gang..yooooo..

See the amoi above trying her very best to show the ticks of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow P2.Thanks amoi,we'll treat you with hotdog okayyy..

And again the amoi again together with a hotdog reward posing like heyyy with the Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow giant poster.

With the help of GOOGLE,I've found this.It is the picture of some of HP cast/star with their cute yer childish face on left side and on the right side is their transformation to a more matured and vogeh style.Am I right??

So it ends for Mr.Potter.
Could you imagine after more than a decade,Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows concludes the series of moving and magical world of Harry and friends.Well,after seeing that,it shows that it is such a fine conclusion but in my most opinion I do think this is the most extraordinary movie that I ever watched.To be honest I almost cry and at the end of the movie I feel like wanna stand and give standing ovation to that. *thumbs up*
Dear Harry Potter,we are going to miss you.

Sekian, terima kasih JK Rowling
for introducing me to Harry.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Better than nothing

p/s:I am currently on BETTER THAN NOTHING by Maria Mena

First of all I am truly apologies for not updating LULA. This is totally because I can't find my courage to wrote something here. Plus my head is spinning like hey! for the past few months. I don't even know whether I can compile all that and share it here. For the past few months ago, for the first time in my life I felt like a normal teens as I am totally being "interrogate" with some loveholic drama and more drama melancolic (did i spell it right?)..hehe..translate,please? Well, this is obviously not the first time I fall from the stairs (fall in L**** should i say)ahaha.. but this the love struck is more stucked!hehe.. em..sorry to say, why suddenly I don't have the urge (still) or still don't have the mood the share it..maybe this thingy happened for quite a time ago and all I wanna do is just continue my life to the fullest and be a good daughter to my ibu. Later2, kte continue series ni ok?

So, lets talk about the song?nak? haha..I found that song from my big bro ipod ( KL mesti lew already have an ipod and all the coolest gadget in town) I were sneaking around his playlist, as to be honest I am such a beginner to become a music lover and actually I don't find his choice of song really suits me..but then,finally..i found Maria Mena.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


mixing around plus getting closer to the friends.
me..dah layak mengundi.
birthday oh birthday..sana sini
dah terer termenung..nak thinking of my own business
the latest and newest journal entires.

bila orang melayu kata:
"ish..ish..apa nak jadi daa??dah bersawang dah belogsepot nih.Dasar pemaleh tahap kronik betul la budak ni.Nak update kan blog satu ni pon susah..kwang..kwang.."

hahaha..i dont even know what is happening to me.Like now is already at the month of March and it is almost getting to the end,thus,to make things worst,im not even have my own NEW YEAR RESOLUTION for the year of 2011!!!what the f***!Well,its not being a great started for me,as i dont [ yet ] seem to see the greatest things happening to myself.

BUT!It is never to late to started it all over again.Right??Em..all i one is just to have the best for myself.I really hope someday something really great gonna happen to me.Insyaallah.

BUT!To make things nice and clear,for this post,i'll just updated you guys with some sweet little things that had happen to me.