Saturday, October 29, 2011

I Loves LOVE

Me and my cousin'zz *RAYA AJI 2011 oiii*

Happy November, darlings!

Well its hard for me to update my blog as there are some technical problems in order for me to uploading my photo. That situation really affected my mood to blog-ing. But then, I realized and remember the first and main reasons why I start blogging as it will not actually all about photos uploading or anything else, as it should be about me and myself. I should really made this blog as my second diary, which it could be a place where I can express almost anything under the sky.

Here something really from my heart.

There's a saying that goes, " If you love someone, let that person go ."

My feeling about this quote and how it relates to love in my life has always shifted back and forth. If you love someone, why would you ever let that person go? I mean that person is everything you want, everything you love. That person is the only person that you'd ever want to be with, so why let that person go.

Happiness. Perhaps, you let that person go for his happiness. If you really love someone, you will always want that person to be happy. And if being happy means being away for a while, then sometimes yes, you have to let that person go. Even he means everything for you, if it makes him happy to be free, then let him go. There's nothing sadder than than to see the person you truly love unhappy.

What happen to the person who lets go? Of course, she'll experience the pain of letting go of her love, especially after reflecting all the precious time spent with that person. Her heart will continue to yearn for that person, even when its over. No one will say it was easy, but in time, the pain subsides and she'll move on, right?

Hopefully .

Separation are never easy, especially when the love was so good, especially there's still attachment. When people still feel for each other that way, of course neither of them wants the friendship to end. It's the heart that talking, not the mind. Often times the feeling of not wanting the break up comes from the heart, but when you really think hard about it, you choose what's best.

Just because it's the best decision, it doesn't mean the person who proposed it wanted it. Why would she want the end of a good thing? It was never a want. It was a need. It was the end to be real and to be true to be logical.

But then again, does logic really define love?

To be honest, after two people enjoys each others' company go through with it, there are often times still unsure f it was a right decision. Sometimes they feel that this is just another one of those times they say things they don't mean and that maybe tomorrow will be a new day and everything will be okay. Until now, lovers may not be sure if what they did was right. I feel that lovers will one day end up in each others' love again . . Only if they're really meant for each other. Allah knows best.

I'm sure they'll be fine. It's just a hole in the heart that they have to mend and fill with something or someone else. They'll be fine, right? It's not like this is easier for one person than it is for other. Little do they know, they're walking towards recovery together, just on different routes.

Do I sound like I'm heartbroken? Hmmm, not sure myself. Plus I don't even know why I choose to talk on this. To be honest, yes or still maybe I am looking forward or again maybe just some sort of my little feeling that wanna end up on something or someone. I don't know or to be exactly, I don't want to think it now, at the moment, for the mean time. This is quite complicated for me. I am struggling and fighting for what we called . . anjakan paradigma *in the good way of course*.

Well, for the mean time, lets just forget about this, coz I'm tired and sleepy. This Raya Haji really fever up myself due to such a busy and fun lovely majlis doa selamat that was held at my house today and all I need is a good sleep, darl!

me ♥


Friday, October 28, 2011

A tad bit of it

When people say life is an ongoing learning process where opportunities and chances roll into our lives in every single day and mistakes are bound to be made, and to be learn from, I can't help but wonder how much chances I have missed and how many mistakes I have failed to learned from, in fact perhaps I have repeated them.

When people say beauty is a very subjective matter to be discussed, that every woman is beautiful and it only takes the right man to see that beauty, I can't help but to ponder who has really ever see me as beautiful.

When people around me are not feeling at their own best, or in another word, sad, I try to give the best positive advices I could come up with, but it puzzles me how hard for me to take my own advices when I am the one who is feeling down.

When I tell myself, think of things that make you happy whenever I am sad, I question myself back, what if the same thing that makes me happy, makes me sad?


I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beauty me. Btw, say hello to my atok *raya 2011*

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Quick Update 2# Mission : Books and Balloons Hunting

Dila kata this book best *The perks of being a wallflower*

My stack of collection of note books *wink wink*

balloons? =,='

"I just want to read beautiful things, stare at beautiful things, make beautiful things and be beautiful besides you,Z"



React and be inspired to act .

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Little Love and Roughness

This is what I wear. *jubah*

The simple, pink, purp, and white pelamin *auuww*

The cake tower

Here come the bride *black/grey outfits*

The entrace *this is what I want*


Muzium *haa?*

Muke mintak penampo *haha*

same tak serupe *hikhik* //since when gelak gedik ni?

Little love this week. And again there are still some roughness. Or in normal way to say that is argue-ing here and there. That is the reality in life. We can't always expecting the nice *always* things in our life, as there might be some roughness around all our life' edges.

" Life is rough around the edges like..CRAYON "

Today I won't talk on the roughness that happen in my life' edges.

Well, despite all the roughness there are still little love, as I managed to coped myself with a little getaway.

One word.


Yup, its Taiping The Bandar Warisan.

Please don't ask me how many times I've already when there. When talk about Taiping, somehow my heart feel so near to that rainy town *wink wink*. And again, please don't ask me why. I feel like I want to explore and went to every edges of that town. Even to some of us, there is nothing great there. But I do think its such an interesting and special place to go.

Well, enough of the over the top saying about Taiping. Coz that's not my main reason why I write today.

Back to the original point.

Actually, yesterday me and my family going to Taiping to attended a wedding of Auntie Nor's nephew. We left home around 11 a.m. and straight away drove to the wedding place at Kompleks Rakan Muda, Bukit Jana, Taiping. We arrive there around 1 p.m. When I arrive at the wed hall, I was mesmerize with the wed deco as the wed theme was pink, purple and white!! So nice and lovely wed. I captured some photos during the wed.

After the wed, we feel like not ready to went back home, thus my dad took us to the Perak Muzium. Yeah, I know its sounds lame when we talk about muzium, but hey, somehow I do feel that its a nice place to date with your beloved ones or even to bring your kids *I dreamed on bringing my twins to that muzium with my hubby!!* ","'

To make it short and simple, just let the picture do the talking.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I don't even butter my bread, coz I consider it cooking

well, i only butter ma bread with choc dude


I have confession.

"I don't know how to cook, but I love eating so much."

Do you have problem with that, boy?

Today's blog tittle really reflect how lazy I am. I'm sorry and I really owed an apologies and also I deserve the BAD BLOGGER AWARD yo.

It feel like ages I haven't been writing on here. It always the matter of not having the golden time and also not knowing what to write even there so much rhapsody and also anecdote that been bothering to get out of my mind. But definitely the urge of writing is there. It's the same feeling when you are hungry but you don't feel like eating, if you get what I'm saying la.

But here I am today typing these out because I remember the reason why I started blogging at the first place. Which is to create some sort of keepsake or a journal of my life. The same reason why I draw or make my art. It's fascinating how the technology today could help in keeping the memories tied close to us, well to me at last. So this post will be just another update of my life, which is now somewhere between the feeling of not knowing what to do and coped with my daily life.

The past few days, or maybe I should say weeks (maybe) I am struggling to coped with my eternal feeling as perhaps in the past I am a person that not easily struggle with that kind of fight. Yes. I am fighting with my own feeling. The feeling that maybe me and myself are also still confusing at. I know it is normal to a teen like me,thus in order for me to grown up to be a better mature adult someday. But I do admit that this fight is really making me tired, exhausted to be exactly, headache and somehow I can't stop doing the last thing that I want to do which is crying. I know this is just another turning point for me to become a better girl. Well, but then I think it will be not appropriate for me to express the thing that been bothering me as it is due to several eternal issues. Don't worry I am know trying to handle my life into the right way.

At the moment, I have like 12687675787985258354895418451895878628 things on my To-Do List, or at least that is how it feel like. So many things.

Well, you know how when you grow up you get to know yourself better? But that's not always the case, right? At least not all the time for me. I mean, there times when you feel like the more you know, the less you understand. Here's a question, what do you normally do when you feel that?

While you're pondering around with question of mine, well if you are, excuse myself as I need to out from here for a while, but don't worry coz I'll be back with some fresh issues of mine.

Nota bawah meja:

" Once in a while, our eyes need to be washed by our tears so that we can see life with a clearer view "

Dear boy, thanks for the late night tears.